


The 10 things to do if Rodan is attacking your hometown!

by MasterOfGray



Series: The 10 things to if a certain keiju is in your city. [3]
Category: Godzilla - Fandom
Genre: Gen, Humorous, Other, funny as hell, semi educational, the other options you have other than to stick your head between your legs.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-09
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-16 19:03:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2281131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MasterOfGray/pseuds/MasterOfGray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever since 1956 Rodan has been destroying cites all over the world. Now here's a funny and insightful list of things to do of this flying keiju ever invades your home city.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The 10 things to do if Rodan is attacking your hometown!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.  
The 10 things to do if Rodan is attacking your hometown.

 

1) First and foremost confirm that Rodan is indeed attacking your home port. You can do this by a multitude of ways. The first try checking your kaiju warning system, if that is slow to recognize a possible threat than try going to a window flinging back the curtains and looking outside. If Rodan cannot be made a visual which is highly unlikely since he is more than a 100 feet tall and is airborne and can’t easily be obscured by buildings or trees. If all else can’t or has been done then go get a speed meter and try tracking the force of the wind as knowing Rodan has a wing strength that can create hurricane force gusts and winds.

 

2) If Rodan is indeed spotted in your hometown preceded the following safety measures. Make or grab an emergency overnight getaway bag, locate all immediate family members if that also includes beloved pets please hear to the standard safety codes when taking them with you. Finally when leaving your dwelling please do not allow your children to sport any fake butterfly or bird wings and do not wear any clothing that is bright yellow or lavender, so as not to be mistaken for the prehistoric insects that Rodan feeds on.

 

3) Do not attempt to escape your location via plain, helicopter, or other as seen this kaiju can fly and can easily knock out any airborne method of relocation.

 

4) If Rodan is attacking your city and getting out of town is no longer an option, please do take shelter in a fortified stronghold such as a bomb shelter, school auditorium, or even the basement of your own home will do. And please if you cannot find a blanket to throw over you or a table to hide under to protect you from debris at the very least cover your ears, Rodan can fire sonic booms from its beak which if too close can be deafening.

 

5) Do not attempt to distract or communicate with Rodan using a duck call or whistling like a bird. Rodan might accidentally mistaken you for another of its kind and might attempt to carry you way. On another note Duck Commander has never or will ever make a duck call big enough or loud enough to resemble a female prehistoric flying reptile call of love. So you can check that off.

 

6) It is completely all right to ask military or local law enforcement for help. But please do not depend on them to stop Rodan, as we have seen many times in the past the military and their weapons seldom do much good against keiju.

 

7) If curiosity and the thrill for Glory are stronger than common sense and the will for self preservation then go and make some fresh white plaster and go to the nearest location where Rodan has landed and then took off and look for foot prints to pour the wet plaster in and make molds of the creature’s foot prints. Seeing as Rodan is really a prehistoric dinosaur from an unknown error paleontologists like Alan Grant, Ellie Sattler, and Ian Malcolm would be thrilled to learn more about him.

 

8) If you are a member of the armed forces about to attempt a civilian rescue in the location where this pacific keiju is please do not attempt to perashoot into the city. With Rodan’s strong ability to create winds of enormous force you would only be the equivalent of dandelion fluff in the breeze.

 

9) For those with lesser thinking capabilities who choose to stay in there trailerhood instead of going to safety and find themselves without anything to occupy themselves with then go outside and in the lyrics of Toby Keith grab a lawn chair and a six pack ‘cause there’s a tornado coming.

 

10) Finally it all else has not come through then preceded to find a safe spot where you can watch Rodan without fear of being spotted or stepped on and just patiently wait for Godzilla to come and handle him. It will be over soon.

**Author's Note:**

> Arthur’s note/ 0h hope this one was a joy like the others. I made three real world references the first was too the hit TV series Duck Dynasty in thing to do 5, the second was too Jurassic Park in 7, and the last was too Toby keith’s song Trailerhood in thing to do 9.
> 
> Please review if you like what you read.


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